I figured I should probably let you all know...
My doctor wanted me to take a home test on Tuesday, the day my cycle was expected. I decided to wait 'til I was officially "late" and tested Wednesday morning. Kyhle woke me up first thing in the morning before he left for work.
K: "Bay, are you gonna take a test?"
R: "I don't know...not right now..."
K: "But I have to go to work in 5 minutes!"
R: "I'm not going to test with you here!"
K: "Yeah, bay!"
(Yes, "Bay" is our nickname for each other.)
I get up, take my test, set it on the tub, and go back to bed telling Kyhle to go read it for me because I was too nervous. I crawl back under the covers, and wait for his return. A minute later, he walks in...
K: "Sorry for waking you up, love."
R: "It's okay. Sorry it was negative."
Obviously we were both incredibly sad, and just bummed. We hugged, we cried, we went to work and kept a brave face all day. I called the doctor on my way to work and told them the result. They said if my cycle didn't start, to take another test Friday morning and call them with the result. Well...it hasn't started. I don't really know if I want to test tomorrow morning. I think they want me to since they are closed during the weekend, and I may need to go in for a blood test tomorrow afternoon if the test is still negative with no cycle. I guess I'll decide when I wake up tomorrow morning!
The part that is so frustrating to me is that everything is still in limbo! I hate not knowing one way or the other. If my test was negative yesterday, why the heck have I not started!? It is also driving me crazy because I notice some symptoms, but I don't want to read into them, because I know they could mean anything, along with my Progesterone meds causing some crazy sore tenderness. I have felt extremely over-tired the past 3 days, to a point where I can go to bed at 7 each evening. I came home from work on Monday, we had dinner at 4:45, I was asleep by 5:15, didn't wake up until 7:30 (I don't normally take naps), and went back to bed at 10. What is wrong with me? I have had no symptoms of an upcoming cycle. Usually I will break out and have some cramping, but I haven't experienced either of those. Just frustrating.
I think I have accepted the fact that I am not pregnant this month, even though nothing has started. If I end up finding out I am pregnant, we will be pleasantly surprised. Seeing the negative was a major let down and I just don't want to see another one. I'm sick of negatives. It's the perfect word because a "negative" is so negative.
Stay tuned...
Hang in there girlie. My sister struggled for years as well. I will keep you both in my prayers. Hopefully your luck will change soon.
ReplyDeleteEven though I didn't have any fertility issues I wanted to tell you about how I found out I was pregnant with Connor.
ReplyDeleteWe weren't trying but we weren't exactly doing anything to stop it either. It had been a year and PCOS runs in my family since I have terrible cysts I just assumed maybe I was done. Maybe I just couldn't get pregnant anymore.
I ended up being 3 days late and I am always regular so I bought a couple of the Early Response tests. All of them came back negative. I had at that point accepted that maybe it was it for me. I had always wanted a big family but it wasn't meant to be.
2 weeks later and I still hadn't started. At this point I was determined that I wasn't pregnant and was terrified to take another test. I didn't want to read the "negative" result. Eventually my mom talked me into it and I went to Walmart and bought the cheapest test they had cause I didn't want to spend too much on a test that I knew was going to be negative. I was in shock when it was positive. After 2 negative tests I really was pregnant.
The reason I'm sharing this story with you is because I want you to know not to give up hope. It is possible that it just didn't register. I was late when I first tested with the early detecting pregnancy tests and I didn't get a positive for 2 weeks.
Never give up hope. You were born to be a mommy and it's going to happen for you.