What an emotional week it has been. Every day brought something new, something surprising, something overwhelming. I don't think I have ever felt so many ups and downs in one week! I will say the ups...definitely outweigh the downs.
Kyhle and I went to Terre Haute on Sunday to spend the day with his family. As Kyhle was hanging out with his stepdad in the garage, my mother-in-law and I had time for a nice conversation. She asked me all about our garage sale the weekend before, and about what all we still have to do for our fundraiser to be able to reach our goal. We shared personal stories, and she gave me such great advice, and in that moment, I felt so grateful for my relationship with her, and was reminded why I am so blessed to have in-laws who want to help, and care about our journey. Of course, too, she is ready to be a Grandma. :)
Monday started with a call to my doctor, asking about some symptoms I've been feeling for a few months that led me to believe I could have PCOS (poly cystic ovarian syndrome). Things haven't been "normal" for a few months, and I was starting to get concerned. After the nurse consulted with my doctor, she called back and said, "I spoke with Dr. Gentry, and he does think you have the signs of a 'PCOSer'. If you want, we will order some blood work to check your testosterone and insulin, and go from there. Call us back if that's what you would like to do." Well of course I start thinking of all these things that should have been done differently in my testing and doctor visits. However, I realized that I needed to just keep moving forward and not think about what could have been had we known about this sooner.
Tuesday came along, and I still hadn't been able to reach the doctor's office to let them know we wanted to do the blood work, and I was starting to get very impatient. I waited all day Tuesday for a phone call, and finally, at 3 PM, she called and told me she faxed the order to the lab, but I had to fast for 8 hours before I get it done. So we wait 'til Wednesday. I told my boss I would be late Wednesday so I could stop and get this blood work done first thing in the morning.
Hello, Wednesday! I arrived at the lab at 7 AM, got the blood work over with, and asked the phlebotomist how long until I received results. One week! Okay, so we wait. Wednesday evening, a friend of mine posted a beautiful video by Hilary Weeks, with her new song, Beautiful Heartbreak. As I watched and listened, I was overcome by such a strong spirit. I watched the video 4 times over and over again. As I was listening to her lyrics, tears streamed down my face, and I knew--our journey has been a "beautiful heartbreak." I went to comment on the post and let my friend know how much I needed to hear that song in that moment. As I went to comment, I saw my mom had commented right before me. (My mom does't comment often on Facebook.) I thought that was a funny coincidence that she watched that video just before I did.
Fifteen minutes later, around 10 PM, my phone rang. I was quite surprised to see how late it was getting a call, but when I saw it was my mom, I thought I better answer, and boy, am I glad I did! What an amazing, incredible, humbling surprise! I took Kyhle's hand and just cried.
"Every fear, every doubt, all the pain I went through, was the price that I paid to see this view. And now that I'm here, I would never trade the grace that I feel, and the faith that I find, through the bittersweet tears and the sleepless nights. I used to pray he'd take it all away, but instead it became a beautiful heartbreak."
With the help of our family and friends, and most of all, our parents, Kyhle and I have reached our goal, and, will be starting our IVF process in September! We can't even begin to describe our feelings of gratitude and thanks. Because of the love, support, and prayers from special people in our lives, we are one step closer to growing our family.
Thank you, from the bottom of our hearts.
Love, Kyhle and Rebecca
