Making the decision to adopt is not one that comes lightly. You don't just say, "Okay, well we've been trying for a little while with no luck. Let's just adopt!" It doesn't work that way.
There are a lot of prayers said. All day. Every day. I feel like that's all I do now! I will be driving to work in the morning, and say prayers out loud asking Heavenly Father if it is the right path for us. I will say a silent prayer during my shower, asking for answers. Kyhle and I pray together every night, and always pray for guidance in what we should do, and the path we should choose.
I have always been interested in adoption, especially a child of a different race. After my brother and his wife adopted their first baby, Gwen (who is now a beautiful 8 year old), I have always thought about that possibility. I wonder now if that was Heavenly Father's way of telling me back then that adoption would be my way of having children. I have great examples in my life of couples who have adopted, and I love seeing the way it has blessed not only their lives, but also the life of that innocent child.
Yes, we have only been married and trying for a baby for 2 years. Some people may think that we should wait another 2-3 years before we even think about adoption. Why wait?
I had a great chat with my sister-in-law, Jeri, the other night. She called me one evening after I got off work, and left me the sweetest voice mail. I love how some people call right when it's needed the most. I called her back the next night, and we talked for a long time about adoption-- the process, the paperwork, the cost, etc. When they lived in Southern California, she and my brother were representatives for Families Supporting Adoption, a group sponsored by LDS Services. Plus, they adopted 3 of their 4 through LDS Services, as well. She was full of so much helpful information! I am so grateful to her for being so supportive, and willing to help.
She explained to me that if we are serious about it, and know we want to adopt, to start the process right away. She then told me that it takes a minimum of 6-8 months just to get approved, but it usually takes a year for most couples. There are so many different interviews, background checks, fingerprints, paperwork, and home inspections. She mentioned that you pay some of the money up front, to help pay for the home inspections and interviews, and then the rest you pay when you have been placed with a baby. She helped me understand that it is a long, overwhelming process, and it takes so much patience and faith to get through everything. After you have been approved, you could get a call any day. As soon as your profile is up on the church website, the birth mothers have access to it, and can contact you right away. You could be placed with a baby in a week, or you could still have to wait another 2-5 years.
I don't want to try for another 2 years, then start the process, take a year to get approved, then have the possibility of not being placed with a baby for another 1-3 years. I would say yes tomorrow! I have been waiting to be a mommy since I was baby-sitting at 12 years old. There is nothing I want more in this world. Yes, I want a big family. But if I could be blessed with that one, special baby, I would be eternally grateful.
I have already started driving myself crazy! I have read every profiles of the couples/families trying to adopt that are in the 20-25 age range, and I have started reading some of the other couples. How do you not compare yourself to them? How do you tell yourself it's not a competition? Heavenly Father is the one who makes those decisions. He is the one who places that baby with you. When it is the right birth mother and the right baby, you will know, and you will be blessed.
"Your Father in Heaven knows your name and knows your circumstances. He hears your prayers. He knows your hopes and dreams, including your fears and frustrations. And He knows what you can become through faith in Him."
- Jeffrey R. Holland
