To say the last week (or two) has been stressful is a major understatement. We have really experienced one challenge after another, and Kyhle told me today if I am already this crazy before the hormone injections start, we are in for a long month (or nine!). ;) Many friends and family members have been asking me when everything starts and what all has to happen, so I thought I would go ahead and give you all a little run down of what will happen over the next month.
First off, we had a successful garage sale yesterday at my parent's house! My mom and dad put so much effort in to helping make it possible, and it really meant so much to us. They worked hard with us to set up tables, go through their attic and house to find items to sell, and mom stayed up until midnight Friday night helping me finalize the details. Kyhle made cookies for my nephew, Eli to sell with his lemonade stand. I was so impressed with Eli's sweet manners. He was so brave and would walk up to each customer and say in the sweetest voice, "Would you like some cookies and lemonade?" I won't lie--anytime someone said no to him it made me pretty upset! How could you turn down a polite, loving boy? We had a very chilly start to our day and enjoyed some hot chocolate in the morning and bowls of chili for lunch. The sun finally came out around 1:00, and we ended up raising $150!
Tomorrow morning is my baseline ultrasound. This is to check the ovaries for any cysts or other issues. I have been on birth control for a month to help regulate my cycle and get my body to a blank slate. It is also to ensure they have "full control" over my cycle. We are fully expecting my ultrasound to be free of any cysts, which means we will move forward with the process! However, I can't help but feel a tad scared thinking of the possibility of them finding a cyst and having to put the whole process off another month. I have been feeling so anxious this whole last week, and especially today. It is truly on my mind at least 3/4 of my day.
Kyhle and I will go to an IVF conference on September 23. There, we will be taught how to mix and administer the shots, as I will be taking 4 injections a day. Kyhle is pretty nervous for this, and I'd be lying if I said I weren't nervous myself! Giving myself 1 shot a day for the IUIs was no problem. Trusting Kyhle to give me 4 a day when he has never held a needle is a little scary!
I will then start 12 days of injections on Wednesday, September 24. I will have blood tests and ultrasounds every 2-3 days to check the growth of my follicles and make sure all my levels are strong. I will be taking Gonal-F and Menopur injections, progesterone oil injections, Doxycycline, Dexamethasone, Prednisone, Metformin, and an HCG Trigger shot to stimulate ovulation. As of now, our retrieval is scheduled for Monday, October 6, and then transfer will be 3-5 days later.
I cannot believe that we are already at this point. It still doesn't feel real that we are able to give this a try. We are incredibly hopeful and doing what we can to stay positive. However, I can't help but be fearful of all that could go wrong. My biggest fear is that they will find that my eggs are no good and we won't ever be able to have our own biological children. We have always been very open and interested in adoption, but since our church no longer offers an adoption program, we worry that may not be possible for us for many years, as it is just so financially out of our reach right now. While I am scared to find out if my eggs are or aren't good, I am grateful I will have that answer and be able to move on and forward with our family building journey.
I have never felt my faith so tested before, and I know that this, too, shall pass. This may be the hardest trial I have been given so far in my life, but I know it won't be the last. I also know that Heavenly Father gave us this trial for a very specific reason, and though I can't always understand it, I always seem to find tender mercies such as: new and supportive friendships with women struggling with infertility, a strength I never knew I had inside of me, learning the art of having patience, and most importantly, a stronger and more loving marriage and partnership with Kyhle.
Stay tuned...
