Blessings

You know those days where you just can't get your brain to shut off?  I have had so much going through my mind the last couple of weeks, and I keep thinking about blogging, but then put it off because I don't know how to put into words exactly what I have been feeling.  I hope this post doesn't sound like a mumbled jumbled mess, and I hope I don't get my words mixed up, but please just bear with me. :)

As you all know, Kyhle and I have been working on fundraising to help cover in vitro fertilization (IVF). We have done a Thirty-one raffle, and the names will be drawn tomorrow for the winners.  First place will win $100 worth of thirty-one products, and second and third will win $50 in products.  Thank you to all of you who participated in that raffle!!  The support we have felt during that has been a huge blessing. 

During the month of May, my mom's life is pure chaos as she is in the middle of senior projects, finals, and submitting final grades for her seniors.  When she wanted to take breaks from the grading, she would bake cookies and other yummy treats, and then sell them at school in the teachers' lounge.  First she started selling them to her students, and they were loving it!  Unfortunately, she found that she isn't allowed to sell treats to the students for multiple reasons, and the kids got pretty bummed about that.  However, my loving mom helped us raise around $130 from cookie sales!  She would sell 2 cookies for 75 cents, and it seemed to work like a charm.  Thank you, thank you, thank you, to my mom!  It really meant so much to Kyhle and myself that she worked so hard to try and raise as much as she could for us.  She's a true blessing. 

We have also been accepting donations on gofundme and popmoney.  We are incredibly grateful for all of the donations we have received.  Each and every donation means more than you know.  Every time I get a message about a donation, my heart swells with such love and gratitude.  Every amount means that we are that much closer to reaching our goal.  So far, we have raised a little over $1,200!  Two hundred of that has to go to Thirty-one to pay for the raffle prizes, so we are really at $1,000 now.  What an amazing blessing.  

I have also decided to take a second job working part-time at Lane Bryant a couple of evenings and Saturdays.  The money I earn from that job will go straight to our baby account and hopefully it will help us get there even faster.  It will be a sacrifice to lose time on the weekends with family and Kyhle, but we know in the long run it will definitely be worth it.  I was very lucky and fortunate for the way the job was basically handed to me.  I have become friends with the manager from shopping there frequently the last couple of years, and when I asked her if they were hiring, she told me the job was mine if I wanted it and I wouldn't even have to interview!  Another awesome blessing.  

Our hope is to earn enough money to be able to do our IVF by August or September.  I will lose my Lilly insurance (through my dad) when I turn 26 in July of 2015.  We are hopeful we can get pregnant on our first round, but I still feel the pressure of having success within the next year.  When it comes to infertility and insurance, timing is everything!  If you would like to donate to our baby fund, you can donate through the website gofundme.com.  (http://www.gofundme.com/8rg5i4)  They keep 5% of the donations, but we will get the rest.  If you would prefer, you can also donate online at popmoney.com, or mail a personal check/money order in mine or Kyhle's name.  Our goal is to raise $5,000.  If you have questions on how you can donate, please don't hesitate to ask one of us.  I wish there were a better way to say thank you, and express just how lucky we feel to have friends and family who want to help and support us.  

As Kyhle and I approach our 4th anniversary next month, I am reminded of all we have endured together to become parents and bring a child into our family.  While it hasn't been how we planned, it's our story.  What a journey the last 4 years have been.  We have grown tremendously individually and as a couple.  When I sit and tearfully ask Heavenly Father, "Why?  Why me?  Why us?"  I remember all of the blessings we have received in our marriage, big or small, and how we would not be where we are today without this trial.  We have made friendships with other couples also struggling that we wouldn't have without this.  Our marriage has never been stronger, and while our testimonies have been tried at times, we know that Heavenly Father has a plan for us, and his plan is perfect.  I cannot blame myself for not being able to become pregnant naturally.  I cannot feel like I am holding Kyhle back from the gift of being a parent.  I have to remind myself that he married me because he loves me, and not because I could give him children.  We will love, cherish, and care for our sweet baby even more because of what we have been though to bring them to us.  I am grateful for that, and I have to remember that during harder times.