One thing I have learned from battling infertility is that there are so many different decisions that have to be made and things change all of the time. Some of the time, you have to make a decision quicker than you would like, or you are told that you can't move forward as you would have hoped, because something else needs to be treated before anymore action can be taken. Curve balls, my friends. There seems to be a curve ball around every corner, and you just need to learn how to hit that ball right out of the park.
After much prayer and consideration, Kyhle and I have decided that we need to try in vitro fertilization (IVF) one more time. This is not a decision that we have come to lightly. We know it will take time, patience, and most of all, money. We also know that this is what worked for us. We were able to get pregnant on our first round, but unfortunately, since we didn't know about some other problems my body has, we lost that baby at 5 weeks. Now that we have found those underlying issues, and they are being treated, we know that this is the route we are supposed to take to become pregnant again.
I know that many of you have questions, and some of you ask them, and some of you keep them to yourselves in fear of upsetting us or hurting our feelings. I'd like to answer as many of those questions, as possible, to help our friends and family (and other readers) understand why we are choosing the IVF route over IUIs, adoption, or altogether stopping. If you have questions, please feel free to ask. Kyhle and I have been incredibly open (possibly too open) with our process, and are happy to answer any questions you may have. For now, I will answer the four biggest questions we get most often. If you have been one to ask or wonder, I do hope our answers help.
Question 1: Why can't you just wait a few years? You are still so young!
Answer 1: This is a valid question. However, because of my limited quantity of eggs, I don't have a few years to wait. Our doctor has given us the facts, and for us, it means that if we want to have biological children, it needs to happen now for it to happen at all. I am at a high risk for early menopause, and once I run out of eggs, that's it. Also, IVF is incredibly expensive--$15,000-$20,000. I am blessed to still be under my parent's insurance just until I turn 26 in July. That gives us 6 months from now. With this insurance, IVF is half the price, costing around a total of $8,000. This is why we need to act fast, and be as pro-active as possible.
Question 2: Why don't you just adopt?
Answer 2: First of all, you never just adopt. Adopting isn't something you just go out and do. Yes, adoption is very close to our hearts, and something we are very interested in pursing down the road. However, since our church no longer has an adoption program, we now have to use a private agency, costing anywhere from $20,000-$30,000. It is a long, grueling process, requiring much patience, faith, time, and energy. You have to be completely ready to enter the adoption process, and we just aren't at that point yet. Also, adopting is something that we don't have a time limit on. We want to try everything we can to have biological children while we know it's still possible for us. Once Kyhle graduates, we move and buy a home, if we still don't have children, we will start looking more seriously into adoption.
Question 3: Why don't you just put it in God's hands? Don't you trust that if you're supposed to be parents, God will make you parents?
Answer 3: Us choosing to pursue fertility treatments has nothing to do with not trusting God. In fact, it because of our faith in our Savior that we are able to continue on, and haven't given up. We pray all of the time--we pray for strength, for healing, for patience, for guidance, and for peace. We believe very strongly that Heavenly Father gave these doctors the skills and abilities to help treat couples battling infertility. Why not use their skills and expertise? One thing we love about Dr. Gentry is that he will be the first to say that he does his part, and the rest is up to God.
Question 4: If you can't afford to pay for IVF, how do you think you can afford a baby at all?
Answer 4: I understand the concern behind this question. Really, I do. However, how often do you have to pay $10,000 out of pocket at one time for your new baby? I don't know many couples who have that kind of money just laying around. Saying a baby is expensive is an understatement. If everyone had to pay $10,000 to even have a baby, no one ever would. We are faced with having to pay thousands of dollars just to get pregnant, on top of everything you pay once you have that child.
Kyhle and I are doing what we can to make the IVF possible, but we know it's not something we can do alone. After all of the medications and treatments we have done to get this far, we can't give up now. We have the opportunity to try one more time while there's still time and coverage, and we have to take it. I have one more month of my Lupron shot, and then it will be time to start the medications for the IVF cycle all over again.
We are very humbly asking for your help in making our lifelong dream of becoming parents are reality. We have set up a page at GoFundMe again. They keep 5% of the profits, but it is the easiest way for our friends and family to donate with no hassle. Any and every amount helps us get closer to our goal. If you feel like donating isn't something you can do right now, but would like to help us, you can share our blog and our GoFundMe page with your friends, and help spread the word about our story. Everything helps us, and everything you do means more to us that we could ever put in to words.
Thank you for helping us. Thank you for being there for us, and for following us on our journey. Thank you for loving us, and supporting us every step of the way. Thank you for your prayers, your kind words, and your positive thoughts. We are forever grateful.
Will share your Gofundme page on my fb page. You are doing your part and I know that our father in heaven will do his no matter what the outcome. ♡ to you both!
ReplyDelete